I apologize for the lack of updates. You see, it’s not that I haven’t been writing; I’ve been writing daily. I just haven’t been posting, because, to be honest, being a professional athlete overseas is really hard. The funny thing is, most people think it’s all butterflies and rainbows. They look at Facebook and Instagram, and think that I am just living the dream. Here’s an important message to everyone out there — social media is just an illusion. It’s like looking at the surface of the ocean, and believing you are seeing the entire thing. In reality, the ocean is vast, dark, and deep, with many things hidden underneath that glittering surface.
It’s true though, I am living my dream. But it sure isn’t easy. Professional volleyball and I have a complicated relationship. I hate it sometimes for beating me down both mentally and physically day after day, but then there are moments when it lifts me up higher than I’ve ever been before, and I swear I’ve never loved anything more. It’s those moments that the world sees, those moments of success, achievement, and momentary satisfaction. That satisfaction doesn’t last long, however, because as a professional athlete I can tell you that we learn to live life never satisfied with ourselves. We are always reflecting, evaluating, and pushing ourselves to get better. And we walk these roads alone. Underneath that ocean surface, in the dark depths, are the minutes, hours, and years of sacrifice, hard work, and loneliness. Nobody sees the endless grind behind the stage curtains.
But I want it this way. How can you expect to get to the top of a mountain without starting at the bottom? You have to make the long and strenuous trek yourself, and figure out your own way. There are a lot of trails to choose from, but it doesn’t matter which ones you take, as long as you keep planting one foot in front of the other and going up and up. Many times in our lives we will find ourselves at crossroads. Just because we don’t know where to go doesn’t mean we are lost, it means opportunity. We can go anywhere, anywhere our hearts desire. So pick a trail, any trail, because there is no right or wrong. Make a decision and dive into it headfirst, giving it all you’ve got. No regrets. It’s all part of the journey.
I am using every day that I am here to improve myself as a player, but also as a person. I’m learning a lot of new things, and am constantly being pushed outside of my comfort zone, and that’s how we grow. I have to maintain my resilience, trust the process, and give it my all. Wherever I am at any moment, I am entirely there, and giving it all of the focus and energy that I have. I’ve learned that I can’t worry about the future, because that does nothing except take away from the present. The time is now, and now is all we’ve got. So I’m going to use it.